‘You’re just like your father’: Woman Calls Out Deadbeat Ex-Husband For Always Canceling On His Daughter By Comparing Him To His Cheating Father

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 31, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

Welcome back girls of the internet. There's something about comparing us to our parents that can come across as…offensive. Sometimes it's the insult of the century to be compared to parents that we are constantly striving to not be like. As their offspring, we can see all of their flaws up close and personal, and we've been the victims of their unique idiosyncrasies and issues. 

So when you want nothing more than to be nothing like one of your parents, it can get you right where it hurts to be compared to them. Imagine your father was a terrible dad, he left the family, cheated on your mom, and abandoned the both of you. Now imagine if your ex-wife tells you you're exactly like him. The truth is that maybe you are. Maybe this man is just like his father. He also cheated, left the family, and abandoned them. Hmm, I'm seeing some similarities. So I guess some people just like living in delusion.

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 6 hr. ago AutomaticRead3217 AITAH For saying that my ex husband was just like his father because he cancelled on our daughter yet again?
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 02
    I'm making this fairly quick, I feel like I went a tad bit far with my comment, so half and half on if I'm the AH at the moment.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 03
    So me (36F) and my ex husband (38M) were together for 6 years, married for 2 before he left me, at the time our daughter was a year old old (she's now 5). There was no warning signs, I left to go do a grocery shop, came home to him and his clothes/things gone, left a note saying he was in love with a new woman and wanted a divorce, just like that.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 04
    I got absolutely no closure from that, any calls or messages were dodged, even when they were about our daughter, literally nothing.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 05
    During our divorce he tried to fight for full custody (despite at this point not having seen her for 6 months) which was denied because he was in the military and at times constantly moving.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 06
    I got full custody, he got supervision with holidays if he's not deployed. Shortly after our divorce, he married his now wife and they settled down in the city we live in. He's still in the military but now he's on a specific base.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 07
    I asked if he wanted to revise the custody since he was no longer travelling? He said no need, and he wants to take things slow.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 08
    Since our divorce, he has maybe seen her 11 times? Over what, 4 years? And mind you, he literally lives in the same city, travel isn't a problem.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 09
    My daughter is in therapy for this, just to process the absence/broken promises from her father (typical 'I'll pick you up this weekend' only to bail last second)
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 10
    Anyway, on to the issue. I got a call from him Friday night (he was supposed to pick our daughter up at 8 am Saturday, I got a call at 1am because I was up working.) and he basically says that he can't take our daughter to his this weekend.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 11
    After some back and forth, he says it's because his wife is upset with him spending time with her, and that's she gets jealous. Yes, jealous of a 5 year old. Absolute pisstake.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 12
    I've been fairly cooperative this entire time, but Jesus, I was just so upset, like a build up of emotions I just started yelling at him, calling him a sack of a disgrace. I mentioned our and daughter being in therapy, how upset she was seeing some of the other kids with dads. In he preschool there was this dad day
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 13
    where the kids brought their dads in to do activities with them (they had a mom day the previous week) and he promised to show but pulled out last minute. I had to give her a sick day because she was so upset.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 14
    So I really started going in on him, he gets angry and starts yelling and cussing back. Eventually he got quiet, and I ended up saying "you know what's really funny? Our entire relationship you made a big show about how much you hated your dad, how horrible he was to your mum and siblings,
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 15
    how your biggest fear was becoming like him. But honesty? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, because you are just like him." (This was said in anger, he isn't exactly like his father, but there's were similarities, which was why I said it. His father cheated on his mother, abused them and eventually left and abandoned them for another
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 16
    woman. Take out the abuse part in my opinion they're the same)
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 17
    He didn't say anything for a couple of seconds, said 'Jesus Christ' and then he just ended the call.
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 18
    I haven't had contact with him since then. I absolutely did not feel bad at the time, I felt like my words were justified, but the longer it waits the more I feel like I went too far, I ended up telling my parents what I said to get some feedback and they said it was cruel and unnecessary. So, AITAH?
    via u/AutomaticRead3217
  • 19
    choppedliver65 • 5h ago Being civil hasn't had any impact. Maybe this will be the wake up call he needs. So NTA.
    via u/choppedliver65
  • 20
    But, you can't let him get your daughter's hopes up any more. Therapy is good, but the repeated disappointment just causes setbacks for her.
    via u/choppedliver65
  • 21
    Far-Season-695 • 5h ago NTA if the deadbeat dad shoe fits
    via u/Far-Season-695
  • 22
    servncuntt • 5h ago NTA Well doesn't sound like you said anything that was untrue. He is like his father. He is a bad father
    via u/servncuntt
  • 23
    Introduction No7686 • 5h ago He's had 5 years to step up and be a parent. He's failed and you called him out on it. and he still didn't pick up his daughter the next day knowing that he was psychologically harming her.
    via u/Introduction No7686
  • 24
    He is letting his wife (who cheated with a married man so we know her moral compass) cut his innocent. child out of his life. They deserve each other.
    via u/Introduction No7686
  • 25
    He has earned the title of dead beat dad all on his own.
    via u/Introduction No7686
  • 26
    Talk to your child's therapist about cutting him out completely. Stop telling her that he is going to spend time with her. This is harming her self esteem. She is too young to process such deep emotions.
    via u/Introduction No7686

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